The Unhappiest Place on Earth
by Glitter Taps
Summary: A collaboration between Tatiana and Amber aka GlitterTaps. Set after the film, when Riff and Magenta are sent by their home planet to capture Janet WeissMajors and bring her back. Prologue is up, please read and review and tell us what you think of it.
1. Prologue

The Unhappiest Place On Earth: Prologue

By Tatiana and Amber

**_Disclaimer_**: Nothing belongs to us other than the concept of the story. Everything else (characters, etc.) belongs to Richard O'Brien and all the appropriate corporate copyright holder people. So don't sue us, please. Thank you.

Riff Raff had thought that going home with Magenta to the moon drenched shores of their beloved planet would have been easy. After all, they were of no great social status. Poor children born to a chain-smoking, alcoholic mother and a dead beat father, they never had much of a life from the start. Always moving from one apartment to the next, never staying long enough to know their neighbors. Moving from one school to another never gave neither Riff Raff nor Magenta, two years his junior, any real chance to make a friend. So, they had become each other's friend. Sharing stories, laughing, crying and complaining together, they were always there for each other. Until that one moment where they realized they no longer felt the brother and sisterly love that they were supposed to feel. It had transformed into something much greater, and very much illegal. Though Transexual the land of night, and everything that came with night, was very loose in morals; incest was always looked down upon.

After their parents found out about their new relationship they were both promptly kicked out. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to they had no choice but to find a job even if it meant one of the worst jobs possible. Working for Frank N. Furter had been no easy task. Riff Raff, who had always excelled at math and science, had all his work stolen by Frank with never an ounce of credit or even a mention of thanks given to him. Magenta on the other hand worked constantly to make sure that Frank's demands were met. She cooked, cleaned, and catered to his every beck and call. Well almost everything. When Frank found out about their relationship he was utterly disgusted. Even he would not stoop to such actions. He was going to report them, see that they were punished and get a new maid and butler as soon as possible. Then, realizing that he still needed Riff to gain credit among Transexual's leading scientists, he kept them both. Not as servants but as slaves and one day after not being able to take the pressure of being treated horriblely any longer Riff Raff cracked. And that is where the real trouble began.

That night, a young couple from Denton had shown up on the castle's front door step soaked in rain. After a round of the Time Warp, Frank's unveiling of Riff Raff's creation, and Frank fornicating with both Janet and Brad, Riff killed them. Frank, Columbia and Rocky. His intent was never to kill Rocky or Columbia, they just happened to be there. Yes, he had planned to kill Frank but not so quickly. He wanted Frank to suffer the way that Frank had made him and Magenta suffer. He snapped however, and Frank was dead, or so they thought.

During the flight back to Transexual everything had seemed all right but that was soon changed when they landed back on the planet. The Transexual Royal Guard had been waiting for the castle when it landed, expecting the glorious arrival of Prince Frank N. Furter who would be named king in the recent light of his mother's passing a few days earlier. Instead they were greeted by a maid and a butler who announced that Frank, along with two others were dead due to a freak accident in the lab. Their plan would have worked if Frank hadn't come half stumbling, half crawling out of the castle a few minutes later. Magenta and Riff Raff were immediately put under arrest and placed in separate cells in the castle's dungon awaiting their trial.

They both would have been sentenced for execution if it hadn't been for a Transylvanian living in Denton who reported that Janet Weiss, now Majors, was pregnant. And if it wouldn't have been for this prying Transylvanian then no one would have ever found out that the baby belonged to Frank and not Brad. Frank could not possibly see his son or daughter being raised by Brad Majors of all people and sent Magenta and Riff Raff on another mission back to earth. Their Mission: "Capture Janet Majors and bring her back to the Planet of Transexual in the galaxy of Transylvania. If you fail, you both will die."


	2. The Arrival

Magenta and Riff Raff did not have to discuss whether to accept the mission or not. Even though it ment going back to Earth they had no other option. Neither one wanted to die and they accepted their mission as soon as it was presented. They were lead by a small group of Transylvanian High Guards to a data centre in the prision compound, instructed to find out more information about Janet's current location.

The next day Riff and Magenta were handcuffed and escorted out of the prison by three high guards. They were shoved in the back of a pod car, the doors slammed shut behind them. Magenta tried to catch Riff's eye but he managed to avoid her look. It was his fault that they were in this. He shifted uncomfortably, the cuffs digging into his wrists and the back of his Transylvanian prision uniform sticking to him.

"Janet Weiss-Majors," Magenta typed on the computer, a Transylvanian High Guard watching her every move. After pressing the enter key, a whole page of results. Riff sat next to his sister and pointed to one section of the computer screen, which read, "Moved with husband Brad Majors to Florida, USA, January." "She's not in Denton anymore, Magenta," Riff said, "she's in Florida. It says here she's in the Orlando area, so that's where we need to go." Magenta turned around and faced the High Guard behind her and her brother. "Just how long will it take to get to Florida from here?" she asked. The High Guard responded almost immediately. "Six hours, and thirty-three seconds." Riff wrote the numbers down and drew a short map of what he thought was the shortest route to Florida from their home planet. "You will leave tomorrow," the High Guard said. "You will be under constant surveillance. So no...funny business. Unless your mission somehow calls for it."

The next morning Riff Raff and Magenta were on the first intergalactic shuttle away from Transexual. After making quick stops at neighboring planets they were soon heading back to Earth. Having both hands handcuffed to the arm rests of their seats left room for little movement. Riff managed to twist his arm a bit so he could hold Magenta's hand and she leaned on his shoulder in return. They would have to wait till they got to Earth to have any real type of conversation as two high guards sat on either side of them. All they could really do is think how they were going to get themselves out of this mess.

After the shuttle landed in a swamp like area and the other passengers had disembarked, Magenta and Riff Raff were lead off. Still rubbing their wrists, trying to get the circulation back in their hands, they stepped out into the hot Florida air. The humid air hit them both and they were temporarly at a loss of breath. Transexual, being a land of night, was never warm and even Denton, Ohio had never reached high temperatures. Even if it had they both were too busy slaving away in Frank's castle to go and wander around outside.

"Well, Riff, what do you think we should do?" Magenta whispered nervously. Since the experience was completely new to them, they were both a bit lost as to how they would start (and complete) their mission. "Maybe we could find a map somewhere?" Riff questioned. Magenta scoffed. "Look around us. There's nothing here but muck, trees, and vines. There are no signs of anyone anywhere, so I don't think we're going to find a map. We'll just have to try getting out of here ourselves." The High Guard spoke up from behind them. "You won't ever be alone. Those bands on your wrists connect you to our home base. So we'll know if anything happens. Just remember that, and be on your way." Almost shoving the two Transylvanians, the guard pushed them away, to get them started out. Riff turned to him with a violent look, but Magenta grabbed her brother's arm. "Not now," she said. Riff picked up the one suitcase they were allowed to bring and the two of them went on their way. Cutting through masses of vines and staggering through stagnant water until they reached a deserted-looking dirt road with a wooden sign near it reading "Enter at your own risk; swamp land ahead" in scrawling writing. Riff smiled. "That brings back memories."

Magenta gave him a half smile as they headed out onto the main strech of road. They both looked at each other not knowing where to go. Before either one could guess a direction, a small black car pulled up on the side of the road. A man in a black suit with a white lightning bolt that was pinned on the collar got out of the car and walked over to the pair. "Get in the car," he hissed as he opened the back passenger's door and practically shoved them in. He slammed the door, walked over to the driver's side and got in. Magenta and Riff Raff looked at each other as the car sped down the road. Riff caught a quick look at a passing sign that read Buena Vista 10 miles.

"This wasn't part of the plan," Riff said quietly. "No, it wasn't. At least not to your knowledge. But they sent me to take you to Orlando. Now, this makes me quite unhappy seeing as I don't like toting around a couple of murderers in the backseat of my car, so don't mess around with me. I can do a lot more than I appear to be capable of," said the mysterious man in the driver's seat. "Murderers?" Magenta said. "We are hardly murderers. He made a point of whipping and beating and mistreating the two of us every day for no reason. What would YOU have done?" The man scoffed. "Taken it, because if the prince thought I would deserve it, I did." Riff pulled Magenta closer to him. "Frank brainwashed many people so they'd be on his side. There's no getting through to him." He was interrupted by a sudden "QUIET!" from the front seat. "Now! Sit there quietly and don't make one sound or you'll regret it." So the pair sat in the backseat of the car, praying for their destination to be reached quickly.


	3. Bitter Memories

Chapter Two:

It seemed like they rode in the car for hours watching the palm trees and passing cars go by. Soon they saw an exit to The Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, MGM Studios, and Downtown Disney. "We have to be getting close," Magenta whispered. The driver nearly slammed on his brakes. "What did I tell you about not talking!" Magenta quickly shut her mouth and starred at the floor. Riff pulled Magenta a bit closer to him as they headed closer to their destination. They passed countless tourist shops that were decorated with gaudy billboards advertising beach towels, post cards and sun glasses. Located randomly between all the shops were all you can eat buffets and mini golf places that would no doubt be filled with families as soon as the parks closed for the night.

"All you can eat buffets," the driver said to himself. "Disgusting." Finally, after ten more minutes of silence, the car came to a stop. The back door opened, and the driver pulled the two of them out of the car. The door was slammed shut, the man got back into the car, and then he sped away, leaving Riff shaking his head and Magenta pressing on her wrist, which had been scraped thanks to the fall out of the car. "Well, now we're on our own," he said. "Where are we, anyway?" Magenta looked around and said, "I think we're in Orlando." A passerby laughed. "Of course you're in Orlando. My, you have accents that I've never heard before. Where are you from?" Magenta quickly replied, "Uh, Europe. Yes, that's where we're from," and laughed nervously. "Yes," Riff said. "And...now we must be going. But before we do...Might you know Janet Weiss-Majors?" "Married to Brad?" she said. "Of course I know her. The darling's at Disney for the day. So if you need to find her, I'd imagine she's there right now." Riff smiled. "Thank you. And...goodbye." He and Magenta strode down the street, suitcase in hand.

"Where are we going?" Magenta asked Riff Raff who was walking a good few paces ahead and kept making sharp turns at every corner. "Emerald Isle Estates" he muttered, glancing at the map that had been left with them. "Supposidly we are to meet someone there who will give us our job information and wherever we are supposed to be staying." After about five more minutes of walking in the hot Flordia sun they came to the enterance. They stood infront of the dolphin fountain for a few moments trying to cool down before they met up with whoever would help them out. They began walking again, taking a left down a path till they got to a gate. Riff glanced at his paper and pressed 8527 into the keypad and waited for the gate to open. Once the gate opened they walked through and headed towards the left once again. They passed six brightly painted condominiums before they arrived at 442. They had no sooner stepped up onto the sidewalk when the door opened and another man in a black suit with a lightning bolt pin appeared in the door.

"Riff and Magenta, I presume?" the man said. "You may call me Lionel. Come in here, and I will tell you precisely what you are to do." The two walked into the darkly lit room and sat down at the chairs Lionel pointed to. "You are to find Janet Weiss-Majors," he said. "But you already knew that. A woman told you that she is in the amusement park. This is true. She is there without her husband." Magenta spoke up cautiously. "What are we to do?" "You are to disguise yourselves, as she will probably remember you. You, Magenta, are to call yourself Angela, and Riff Raff, you are to call yourself David. Both of you can imitate a British accent well, so you are to speak with a British accent instead of your Transylvanian one. Then, you are to capture Janet. With whatever means necessary, within your given time limit, you are to get her back to our American headquarters in Palm Beach. You must do this, and she must be brought back alive and well." Riff said, "Where are we to stay while we go on this mission?" Lionel opened a folder on the desk in front of him. "Here. The Grand Floridian, which is one of the Disney resorts. You are registered as Angela and David Covington. Your keys and everything else you will need are located in this folder. You will find means of identification along with credit cards for the cost of your stay in here. Before you think of using these things to your advantage, I should tell you that all use of everything in this folder will be monitored. The hotel is located three miles from here. You will check in at 1:30 this afternoon, and immediately start your search. To ensure that you will be working and not lounging about there is no television service, no room service, no luxeries. You will be given more information at the desk. Good day."

With that he led them outside where there was a taxi waiting for them. As they climbed in the back they heard Lional giving the driver specific instructions to take them to the hotel with no stops along the way. Lional handed the driver money and walked back inside. Magenta leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes. It had been an eventful past few days and she felt like she was in a whirlwind. She had no desire to be on Earth again. She hated everything about it. The weather that frizzed her hair, the arrogant people, the culture...everything. Before she knew it they had arrived at the hotel. Riff opened the door, got out and offered his hand to Magenta. She took it and stepped out of the taxi, the hotel loomed over them, almost mocking them with its white siding, red tile roof and spires. It was a dream vacation to most humans to but it reminded Riff Raff and Magenta all too well of the castle they had served Frank in.


End file.
